Filed under: Weekly-ish Things
I’m thinking of starting a new tradition here on my little blaaawg. I’ve been tossing it around in my head for awhile, and it kinda got lost for some time. (Things get lost in my head all the time)
Anyway, what I’m thinking about doing is “Interesting things on the side of the road Thursday”. And by “things” I do not mean “squished things”. I mean “interesting, random things”. Don’t worry, if you don’t get it, you will after this first one. Although, I’m not sure I’ll be able to top this one:
This is without a doubt, the creepist Santa I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the fact that I took this picture today. Today. January the 17th. There used to be a Christmas tree lot there, but it’s been gone since before Christmas. I’m thinking they decided to ditch “Hitler Santa” and find one a little less….disturbing for next year. Because seriously….I’m not buying a Christmas tree from that guy. Something is just wrong there.
So tune in again next Thursday, when hopefully I’ll be able to come up with something just as odd, but maybe not so disturbing.
“Seriously. Tomorrow. Clean Bathroom!”
Damn. I need help.
But at least I have a clean bathroom now. For five minutes. Because I live with a man. And instead of spitting in the sink, apparently they think it’s perfectly fine to just go “phhhhhhlllllllbbbbbttttttt” all over the damn place.
Next time I’m leaving the note above his sink.
We’ll never have to buy wallpaper or new paint again. We can just line the walls with all the post-its I have to use to remind myself to do things. Like breathe.
Filed under: whineyness
I just saw a commercial that said:
“Less than 30 minutes until American Idol!”
Isn’t that over yet? Who do I need to pay?
Filed under: electronics are out to get me
This morning was the last straw.
I couldn’t stand it anymore.
I had to strike back.
I had to……change my voice mail message.
I used to have the generic “Hi, I’m not here right now. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
Apparently, this was not enough for the wrong numbers. They still didn’t know that they’d dialed the wrong number.
The last straw was this morning around 8:30 when I thought I heard Rat’s pager go off (which he has to answer, no exceptions). So I kicked him and said his pager (which is actually also his cell phone) went off. So he groggily goes down stairs and a few minutes later comes back upstairs with not his phone, but mine. “Wasn’t my phone” he said as he balanced my phone on my head. “Huh?” I said. “No one who knows me would call this early in the morning. Oh God, if it’s the damn claims people for that Lynch woman again, I’m gonna scream.” (little backstory, as soon as I get my new phone with my new phone number, I start getting these automated calls from claims people for apparently the woman who had my phone number before me. I had to call these people THREE times to tell them that That’s not me! Stop calling!!!)
It wasn’t the claims people. It was someone who kind of sounded like a personal trainer or something telling “John” that “I think it’s gonna work out, but I have an appointment at” whenever “and will give you a call back later.” Whaaa? He said other stuff too, I’m sure you’re wondering “uhh…and how exactly does that sound like a personal trainer?” He did. Really. Promise.
So here’s my new voice mail message:
“Hi. This is [my real name]. If you’re calling for anyone else, you have the wrong number. If you actually know me, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I realize that my phone is beeping. Have a good day!”
Hopefully that will help my percentage of wrong number calls. I’d say they were at about 45% before the new message.
And really. Wrong numbers wouldn’t bother me so much if those wrong numbers would not proceed to leaving a loooong message. I had this one (apparently) little old lady who kept calling. She apparently wasn’t familiar with voice mail and though that whoever she was calling could hear her while she was leaving the message.
“Hello??? Tamika??? Are you there??? Can you hear me??? TAMIKA?!?!?! *mumble mumble mumble* *puts down phone and forgets to cut it off* *weird sounds*”
Filed under: whineyness
A discussion that has taken place probably too many times in the past two weeks. But I will not let it go. Will. Not. Let. Go.
Mouse: Can we get a treadmill?
Rat: no.
Mouse: They’re on sale right now.
Rat: no.
Mouse: Please?
Rat: no.
Mouse: Pleeeeaaassssse?
Rat: no.
Mouse: pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
Rat: *still not looking up from computer* no.
Mouse: *pout*
Mouse: Did I mention they’re on saaaale?
Rat: yes. and no.
Mouse: But I’ll do nice things for you.
Rat: no.
Mouse: I’ll do really nice things for you.
Rat: no.
Mouse: I’ll wash your truck.
Rat: hmm……no.
Mouse: but….I can’t jog on the trails around here because Shadow is a Spaz and the last time I tried jogging with him he tripped me in front of a bunch of guys who worked at the Ford dealership, you know the one where they only sell trucks and I just wanted to die. And I can’t jog without him on the trails because they’re creepy people that walk on those trails and that one guy followed me and it looked like he was wearing a woman’s wig and also a hat and sunglasses, and who works out in jeans? Really! And even though there are all kinds of signs posted that say “Keep your dog on a leash at all times” some people still don’t and I’m worried that if their dogs run up to Shadow then he will kill them and it won’t be my fault because my damn dog was on a leash and yours wasn’t you big loserhead! But then I’ll feel all bad and stuff and something bad might happen to Shadow, because he really IS a spaz, so that’s why I need a treadmill.
Rat: no.
Mouse: But I wanna get in shape….so I can look pretty…..For you!!!
Rat: *laughing*
Rat: *still not looking up from computer*
Rat: no.
Mouse: *sigh*
**5 minute silence**
Rat: Have you decided what you want to do for your mother for her birthday?
Mouse: no.
Rat: Well it’s coming up, you need to figure something out.
Mouse: Okay. How about we get her a treadmill and keep it here.
**Conversation is always sneakily changed somehow at this point. I don’t know what happens really. I think he compliments my hair or something and I blush and giggle like an idiot because my husband thinks I’m pretty and awwww**
