Barnmouse Blitherings


48 hours and counting…
August 1, 2006, 3:24 am
Filed under: general wonderment, whineyness

Still no meat as of now. Tonight I had a giant salad.

It was huge….

Seriously…

The size of my head…

and goooooooood!

I’m a salad lover! But I don’t like lots of stuff that generally go into a salad. Such as cheese. And carrots. And tomatoes. And that purple stringy stuff that’s in the salad-bar lettuce bowls and steak house restaurant salads. What IS that?

I’m a salad minimalist. I like lettuce…and onion…and a little cucumber. But not those giant cucumbers that won’t even fit in my mouth (you should not have to bite a slice of cucumber in half). Granted, I do have a small mouth, but it’s really not that small.

That’s it.

That’s my perfect salad!

On our honeymoon, Computer Guy and I decided that we wanted to get lobster one night (I’d had it once before but wasn’t crazy about it, but thought that it might have just been the place I had it). So, we go to this very nice seafood restaurant, tell the waitress that we want the lobster. She half rolls her eyes and shuffles off. We’re like “excuse me?”. “What was that?” “Hmm…maybe it was just us”.

She finally comes back to give us our water…I’m sorry, I mean slam the glasses on the table so hard she sloshes it out all over the table. Does she clean it up? Does she appologize for splattering me? Noooooo. She just shuffles off again. Like she’s bored. With everything. She should have been wearing ratty bunny slippers with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

When she brought our dinner, we actually had to tell her what we wanted to drink (NOT water) instead of her asking. She’s a waitress, right? I’m beginning to think that she was just another customer, who got bored and decided to play a practical joke on us.

Long story short, the lobster was terrible. 40 bucks, down the drain. We go back to the hotel (after leaving NO tip….she should have tipped US) and I’m starving! The restaurant is about to close, but the hostess/waitress took pity on us (I think we must have told her where we had dinner).

I told her “I just want a salad. Just lettuce and onion and cucumber. Can you do that?”

AND BOY DID SHE COME THROUGH!

I hope one day she reads this and remembers that it’s her I’m talking about! The right service really does make the meal.

I’m still talking about my salad 6 years later!

Now….where was I going with this???

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