Barnmouse Blitherings

Long Overdue
January 16, 2007, 5:26 pm
Filed under: electronics are out to get me

This morning was the last straw.

I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I had to strike back.

I had to……change my voice mail message.

I used to have the generic “Hi, I’m not here right now. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Apparently, this was not enough for the wrong numbers. They still didn’t know that they’d dialed the wrong number.

The last straw was this morning around 8:30 when I thought I heard Rat’s pager go off (which he has to answer, no exceptions). So I kicked him and said his pager (which is actually also his cell phone) went off. So he groggily goes down stairs and a few minutes later comes back upstairs with not his phone, but mine. “Wasn’t my phone” he said as he balanced my phone on my head. “Huh?” I said. “No one who knows me would call this early in the morning. Oh God, if it’s the damn claims people for that Lynch woman again, I’m gonna scream.” (little backstory, as soon as I get my new phone with my new phone number, I start getting these automated calls from claims people for apparently the woman who had my phone number before me. I had to call these people THREE times to tell them that That’s not me! Stop calling!!!)

It wasn’t the claims people. It was someone who kind of sounded like a personal trainer or something telling “John” that “I think it’s gonna work out, but I have an appointment at” whenever “and will give you a call back later.” Whaaa? He said other stuff too, I’m sure you’re wondering “uhh…and how exactly does that sound like a personal trainer?” He did. Really. Promise.

So here’s my new voice mail message:

“Hi. This is [my real name]. If you’re calling for anyone else, you have the wrong number. If you actually know me, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I realize that my phone is beeping. Have a good day!”

Hopefully that will help my percentage of wrong number calls. I’d say they were at about 45% before the new message.

And really. Wrong numbers wouldn’t bother me so much if those wrong numbers would not proceed to leaving a loooong message. I had this one (apparently) little old lady who kept calling. She apparently wasn’t familiar with voice mail and though that whoever she was calling could hear her while she was leaving the message.

“Hello??? Tamika??? Are you there??? Can you hear me??? TAMIKA?!?!?! *mumble mumble mumble* *puts down phone and forgets to cut it off* *weird sounds*”

4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I hope the new message works, because I’ve tried to spell it out before with minimal success. Don’t people notice that you don’t sound like their friend/family member?

Comment by HollowSquirrel

i got a call last night from an incoherent Old woman on my cell. It was about 1 a.m. I understand your frustration.

Comment by urban-urchin

Fortunately, I’ve never gotten a call like my husband did last week. Someone called his cell phone, so he picked it up and it was a wrong number. But he had to tell the guy THREE times that “no, there is no one by that name here. You have the wrong number.”

Comment by barnmouse

shell – oh no! and if they don’t leave a number, there’s no way for you to call them back and tell them they dialed wrong! Hopefully they’re not still sitting by the phone with their eyes hurting waiting for the dr. to call back with an appointment time!

Comment by barnmouse

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