Barnmouse Blitherings


WARNING: DO NOT EAT MCDONALD’S CHEESEBURGERS FOR BREAKFAST
April 30, 2007, 3:05 am
Filed under: it was all his fault, whineyness

The Scene: Barnmouse and Rat’s upstairs hallway by the linen closet.

Rat: *looking at the floor in the linen closet* We really need to pull up the carpet in here and put down the hardwood floor like the rest of the upstairs.

Mouse: Uh huh…

Rat: *looking up that the attic door thingy* And we need to look in the attic.

Mouse: Uh…why? To check for bodies?

Rat: *cocking his head like a dog who’s heard something weird* shh shh shh…listen……

Mouse: *getting really creeped out* what???

Rat: pfffffffftttttttt

Rat: *grin*

Mouse: nice. thank you.

End Scene.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was pretty much the extent of my weekend. Yes, I know. You’re welcome.



Y’all Kick Some Butt, I’llTell You Whut!
April 29, 2007, 2:30 am
Filed under: Canine Confections

Y’all really are great. It’s only been a few days and we’ve already reached a milestone in our “Pet Project”! $50 bucks! To commemorate this momentus occasion (look at me with all the big words!), I’ve created the “Skeeter Meter” to show our progress for this cute little (well, not little really) kitty named Skeeter. I’ve placed it over on the sidebar to your left so y’all can keep up with our progress too, as he will be our “Carolina Canine Confections” pet project kitty.

If y’all haven’t noticed, I’ve also tweaked the name a little bit. After I “came out” (haha) with my dog treat business and mentioned the name, 2 other places have opened up with the same name. Ha ha guys. That’s real funny. Let’s see how hard y’all are laughin’ when the Federal Trademark Office calls you up to tell you that “sorry you’re using this name, but it’s been trademarked so you have to rename your company or pay the owners (me) of the real Canine Confections”. The day is fast approaching. Anyway, I just wanted to stand out, and I’m here in North Carolina, so I thought hey, that’ll do.

Also, just to be clear, if you’d ike to order treats or if you’re thinking that you might be interested, I know there are no prices listed. I wasn’t sure how cool Blogger would be with that, so if you’re interested (and let’s face it, you know you are! who wouldn’t be? Look at your doggy’s face…how can you say no to that face?), please just send me an email and I’ll forward you the price list.

Thanks and I hope y’all are having a fantastic weekend!



Canine Confections’ Pet Project
April 26, 2007, 9:32 pm
Filed under: Canine Confections

To read about how you can help Skeeter get adopted click here.

Skeeter is an overweight, 2 1/2 year old cat who was abandoned, locked in a cat carrier next to a dumpster. Fortunately, he was found and rescued and taken to a local adoption center where he’s been in a cage for about 4 months now. Unfortunately, when people are looking to adopt a cat, the tend to gravitate toward the cute kittens, and not the (very) overweight adult cat who has to be on a diet.

This week and then all of May, all proceeds from the treats will go to help adopt Skeeter. And if that goes well, one month where all proceeds go to help dogs and cats get adopted might become an annual thing.



Canine Confections’ Pet Project
April 26, 2007, 9:07 pm
Filed under: Canine Confections

Hi y’all. I thought I’d tell you a little bit about Canine Confections’ “Pet Project”.

For the next month, all proceeds from my treats will go to help adopt a kitty. (hee hee. get it? ‘pet project’??) Anyway, the kitty’s name is Skeeter and he’s a 2 1/2 year old gray and white cat. (but I’m sure you got that from “kitty”) Unfortunately, Skeeter weighs about twice what he should and has to be on a special diet, so no one really gives him a second look when they’re looking to adopt a cute little kitten.

Skeeter’s story is a sad one. He was found locked in a cat carrier abandoned next to a dumpster. I can not imagine doing that to an animal! I guess there are just some horrible people out there. Such a sad start for such a sweet kitty.

Okey Dokey. That’s pretty much the jist of the “Pet Project”. I went by the adoption place today and was going to take a picture of his sweet little smooshy face, but instead I decided to forget my camera phone in my car. Oops.

If this “Pet Project” goes well, I’m thinking of possibly making it an annual thing. (raising money to help get abandoned cats and dogs adopted)

So what do y’all think? I’m definitely open to suggestions.



Letters to the Gym People (possibly with actual letters this time!)
April 24, 2007, 11:31 pm
Filed under: general wonderment, Public Humiliation, whineyness

To the guy walking on the treadmill beside me in socks,

*chanelling Bill Lumburgh* Yeeeaaaaahhh…kaaaayyy….I’m gonna have to go ahead and…yeeeaaahhh….ask you to just…just put your shoes back on. Kaaay? Yeeeaaaah. *takes sip from mug of coffee* Alrighty then.

*chanelling barnmouse* Seriously! Dude! Gross! Put your damn shoes back on. WTF?! You’re not in your house. Sure, there are membership dues, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to follow a couple of rules. They won’t even let you in the mini-mart without shoes on and you think it’s alright to kick off your shoes on the treadmill to let your feet air out? Umm. No?

Nose-scrunchingly Yours,
barnmouse

And that’s not even the weirdest thing about this guy. When I got there, he had both shoes on and was walking like there was no tomorrow. Then, after I had been there about 10 minutes or so, he stops the treadmill, steps off and turns around and sits on it, breathing like he’s about to have a heart attack or something. At this point, I’m starting to worry. Am I going to have to call an ambulance? Then, to my surprise, he gets back up on the treadmill and starts up that same crazy pace again. Only this time….he’s only got one shoe on.

Huh? I have to tell myself not to stare.

About 3 minutes into his second workout, he slows the pace down a bit and then kicks off his other shoe. Right about now, I’m seriously considering just leaving. I don’t think I can NOT laugh anymore. Luckily, he leaves after about 10 more minutes, but not after using the “floor” of the treadmill as a seat again, breathing like he’s got a 3 pack a day habit.



Letters to People at the Gym (probably a series)

As I might have mentioned before (or I might not have…it’s been forEVER since I last posted) Rat and I have joined a gym. And with joining a gym, along with fitness and the hope of less ass, comes interaction with “gym people”. Gym People are the type of people who, if you meet them anywhere other than the gym, they seem to be completely normal people. However. If you meet them in the gym, you will memorize the days and times that they are there and will avoid the gym at all costs at these times.

Now don’t get me wrong. Gym People are not all bad. Sometimes they are good. Very Gooooood. But if you happen to be married, as I am, this can be very baaaaaad. Now I’m thinking that the very gooood gym people are mostly men. And I’m thinking this for a reason other than I’m a girl and I like men. The women who are at the gym all the time (i.e. personal trainers, workout-aholics, etc) think they look like supermodels and are super sexy. They could not be more wrong. They are so wrong that when you say “wrong” you have to say it like they do in the Sonic commercials. “W-Rong” Stringy and orange is not sexy. It’s scary. And it’s even scarier than I’m not talking about hair. I’m talking about when you can see all the muscle fibers and tendons and such because the women is…well…what’s the word? Buff? Pumped? Ripped? Stringy is the first thing that pops into my mind. It just looks wrong. They look like men from the chin down. And don’t get me started on the BLEACHED blonde hair (all caps means so bleached that it’s just fried) and the fact that their skin is the color of a carrot. You’re not fooling us! We know that’s a fake tan. And fake hair color. And no one’s teeth are that white. They just set off the orange color. Please. Take a day or two off from the “sun in a bottle”.

And these people. They are extreme. The kind of extreme where they would want you to spell it “X-Treme”!!! (with that many exclamation points)

I realize I’m ranting here, but it’s not like I can say anything to these people’s faces. They’d crack me in half! Rat signed up for 12 personal trainer sessions (because they were super cheap when we signed up) and he’s had 6 and then had to tell the personal trainer lady that because we were going to have to get our chimney straightened and get a new roof put on the house (thank you wind storm) that he wasn’t going to be able to sign up for more sessions. And according to him she said “no, you can’t do that”.

Umm…what?

Come to find out that she used to work at another gym in town where one of my friends is a member and my friend says that no one there liked her and we’re thinking she was fired.

Really.

Wonder why?

I can’t imagine.

So. On to the letters. I’ve written several, but seeing as how this post has gotten a bit off topic already, I’ll save those for later. Hopefully tomorrow. I’m trying to do better at posting (or at least I’m going to try).

So…here’s a picture of some ducks that were randomly in our front yard, even though we don’t live on or really near water.

And here’s a picture of Ebenezer staring at the ducks imagining them in the oven.

And here’s a picture of Winston not caring.

Pleez yallz….sumbodee jus rubs mah belly!

And if y’all are good, tomorrow I’ll tell ya’ about creepy bunny cupcakes! I know, you can’t wait!


Others
April 17, 2007, 3:25 pm
Filed under: Canine Confections

There are some other treats that I’m working on, but have no pictures of. I’ll get those up as soon as I can.