Barnmouse Blitherings


MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT
June 29, 2007, 3:18 am
Filed under: whineyness

This is a conversation I had with my mom on the phone a few months ago while I was in the thralls of acute bronchitis.

Let me set the scene for y’all a little bit.

Me- napping on the couch, trying not to talk, laugh, yawn, or even breath hard for fear of starting a day-long coughing fit.

*phone rings*

mouse: *groggily waking up trying to focus on the caller id to see if I want to even bother answering it*

*phone ringing again*

mouse: *seeing it’s my mom I answer it hoping she will be able to make me feel better in that special “Mom Way” that mom’s have*  hello?…

Mom:  Hi *sounding in a hurry* Just one quick question…do you have little gold balls?

mouse:  *launched into a 5 minute coughing fit from laughter*

Mom:  hello?

mouse:  I….*wheeze*….wha???….*cough cough cough*….huh?…*laughing mixed with coughing and kind of a hairball noise*

Mom:  *pause…then the first signs of catching on…then much laughter from her end of the line*

mouse:  *cannot breath*

Mom:  No!  I meant earrings!

And that’s the story of how my mom tried to kill me.

Hee!

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MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT
June 28, 2007, 1:28 pm
Filed under: whineyness

This is a conversation I had with my mom on the phone a few months ago while I was in the thralls of acute bronchitis.

Let me set the scene for y’all a little bit.

Me- napping on the couch, trying not to talk, laugh, yawn, or even breath hard for fear of starting a day-long coughing fit.

*phone rings*

mouse: *groggily waking up trying to focus on the caller id to see if I want to even bother answering it*

*phone ringing again*

mouse: *seeing it’s my mom I answer it hoping she will be able to make me feel better in that special “Mom Way” that mom’s have*  hello?…

Mom:  Hi *sounding in a hurry* Just one quick question…do you have little gold balls?

mouse:  *launched into a 5 minute coughing fit from laughter*

Mom:  hello?

mouse:  I….*wheeze*….wha???….*cough cough cough*….huh?…*laughing mixed with coughing and kind of a hairball noise*

Mom:  *pause…then the first signs of catching on…then much laughter from her end of the line*

mouse:  *cannot breath*

Mom:  No!  I meant earrings!

mouse:  *loud thud on the floor*

And that’s the story of how my mom tried to kill me.

Hee!



THINGS ON THE ROAD THURSDAY! AGAIN! FINALLY!
June 28, 2007, 12:50 pm
Filed under: Weekly-ish Things

I know!  I know!  It’s been…uh….awhile!  But I saw something today that was just so damn funny, I had to drive by it again just so I could get a picture.

Ya’ know those weird chalk or pen things that they sell now that write on cars?  They normally say kind of dumb things like “class of ’07 rulez” or “Go Becky!”….well…today, I saw one that was actually funny!

fries2

“Gimme Sum Fries”???

I find that hilarious!

Happy Things on the Road Thursday!!!



post # 3486 where I laugh at something only I think is funny.

Okay. Yes, I know, my pictures are not working. And to think I was just going to say how much I was liking this new blog place. Hmph. *crossing arms* I will try to get them to work as soon as possible. *mutters* stupid blog…

 Oooh!  Hey!  They’re working again!  Good blog….gooooooood *pets blog on head*

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This is was Shadow’s bowl. It actually held things a lot better before he sat on it.

This is very funny to me.

Let’s make a Mastercard commercial out of it, shall we?

old plastic dog bow = $8, new plastic dog bowl = $8.99, having people at the gym look at you like you’re crazy because you keep giggling because your dog sat on his bowl and broke it? priceless.

I mean, I knew he’s a big boy, but dayum! It broke into 5 pieces. To be completely honest, it already had a crack in the side. But still.

And now for something completely different…well, not really. But I still think it’s funny!

ebenezer

In case that last bit came in a little funny (which it looks like it did. Damn you Photoshop! *shaking fists in air*) it is Ebenezer demanding ham, but really…what else is new?

Oh! And I actually have something for my “Things on the Road Thursday” this week! I know…I’ll wait while y’all recover from the shock.



My latest addiction
June 27, 2007, 1:31 am
Filed under: general wonderment, I totally have real life friends too

We all have my friend Super Model to thank for my newest addiction. Iced Chai Latte.

*pause for longing sigh and lip smackin’*

When she took me out to dinner for my birthday last Wednesday, which was fan-FUHREAKIN’-tastic btw, I let her recommend something new to try (which I did and which was also scrumptious!) and that turned out so well, that when we went to a coffee shop down the street, I got her to recommend something new there too. She said that the chai was great so I said “BRING IT ON!!!”. The lady behind the counter asked whether I wanted it iced or hot. Well wasn’t that just the dumbest question she could have asked. I’m sorry, wasn’t it about a bajillion degrees just 5 minutes ago? So, yeah. I went with the iced.

It was so yummy! I never in a million years would have thought that I would like that, much less love it, but I do!

Even though it’s about a dollar less at Starbuck’s, it’s still an expensive habit to have, so tonight, I tried my hand at making it myself, since I got their Frapuccionos down pretty good. I even took pictures just for y’all. Who loves ya’ baby?!

First, you’re going to need a few ingredients, all of which can probably be found at your local grocery store. If not, you need a new grocery store.

You will need:

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simple syrup (made it mah-self!) chai tea (Tazo is da bomb y’all)

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some kind of vanilla syrup milk (I prefer skim)

And do I really have to take a picture of ice? Really? I didn’t think so.

Also, because I am the height of coolness:

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My mom was kind of surprised last year when she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her a tea kettle. I even sent her a picture of the one I wanted from Target.com. She said she went and looked and looked, but couldn’t find it, but then she found one and it was the only one left. Then about a month after Christmas, Rat and I go over to Super Model and her bf’s house and lo and behold, they have the same one too. I like to think that I am a great picker-outer of tea kettles. If you’re ever in the market for one, you know who to call!

What were we doing? Oh, right, chai tea, mouse style!

So, you take 2 tea bags, steep them in 8 oz of hot water for at least 5 minutes. Then you take out the tea bags and gently squeeze them (not a lot because then you get kind of a bitter taste).

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I’m working on this next part, but so far, I’ve tried pouring the hot tea over the ice, which works great to cool it down, but it also waters the drink down a lot since it melts a lot of the ice. I’m going to try making the tea in advance and putting it in the fridge to see if that works better.

Okay, so you have the ice and the tea in a cup (not the coffee cup you steeped the tea in, you need a larger cup than that). Now you need to pour in the milk. Try not to fill up the cup because we still have to add the simple syrup and the vanilla flavoring. I added a tablespoon and a half of the vanilla flavoring, but you can add more or less. I also have no idea how much simple syrup I used. I just kept tasting it until it tasted right. Everyone’s tastes are different, so you’ll have to make it to your liking.

When you’re done, it should be about this color:

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Maybe a little darker. I think I added a bit too much milk. But it still tastes yummy. Now I know why when I order this at a coffee shop, they pour it in the cup in this order: tea and flavorings, milk, and then ice. But I think they already have their tea and flavorings mixed together. I’m not sure. I’m usually too busy staring at all the $30 travel mugs and stuff.

Now, you’re ready to drink your nummy iced chai latte! And, if you’re super cool like me, you can drink it in your trash can that you got from Joe’s Crab Shack! Them’s some good eats! LOL

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And really, how adorable is the mini trash can cup? It even comes with a lid! And has cute little moving handles that you can barely see on the sides there (thank you Mr. Spoon).

Also, please excuse my horrible counter tops. I don’t know who the first guy was that said “Fake wood counter tops! That’s classy!” but I’d like to smack them.

**updated to add** Just in case anyone was wondering, to make simple syrup (which is great for sweetening cold drinks because the sugar is dissolved) you put the same amount of sugar and water into a saucepan over medium high heat and simmer until you’re sure all the sugar is dissolved and then let cool. Be careful not to boil it too long though, because then you’ll end up with a big mess (like I did on my first attempt – took me awhile to get all that hardened sugar out of my bottle). And Super Model? Don’t worry, I’ll make you some. Hee hee.

**updated AGAIN to add**  Yup, waiting for the tea to cool a bit is definitely the way to go.

On that note, I’m am NEVER getting to sleep tonight.  Who else is up?



Manic Monday – All about summer
June 25, 2007, 8:20 pm
Filed under: Weekly-ish Things

I’m (still) trying to get back into doing my little weekly things here (I’ll blame it on moving my blog, but we all know I was a slacker waaay before that happened). So this week’s Manic Monday Meme (enough M’s? LOL) consists of these questions:

Are you strict about wearing your sunscreen in the summer? Yes. I just found Neutragena’s Dry Touch sunscreen for faces. It’s so great! No greasiness. No sunscreeny smell, and once you barely rub it in, it’s gone! Woo!

Do you frequently wear sandals in the summer? Any favorites you’d like to share? Why Yes, and Yes! I love my flip flops. They’re by Mossimo and are black with pink wide fabric straps so no plastic strap pinches! I also love my Guess sandals, my Colin Stuart espadrilles, my Unisa wedges, my….wait…I think I’ve gotten off point here. Anyway, I love my shoes! 🙂

What are a few great books that you’ve taken along to the beach or on vacation in years past? If you aren’t a big reader, what do you do to while away the lazy hours? I love James Patterson’s books. They’re great for reading by the pool or on the beach or even back in the hotel room while your husband is insisting on watching the Sci-Fi channel. Hee! I read lots of other stuff, but his books are the ones I seem to take the the beach most often.

How do you feel about swimsuit shopping? Love it, hate it, indifferent? What’s your color of choice? HATE! Absolutely hate! Kinda makes me wanna kill myself. But then I stop by Starbuck’s and all is right with the world again. *takes big sip of chai to calm nerves* See? Even now, just thinking about swimsuit shopping kind of makes me depressed. And the sales people always hanging around kind of following me don’t help at all! Okay, now I’m just getting myself worked up. Need more Starbucks! Hee!

So. Did you play? 🙂



should I just take the hint?
June 22, 2007, 12:55 am
Filed under: electronics are out to get me, whineyness

Y’all.  I think my oven just had a stroke.  Or maybe just hates me and thinks my cooking sucks.  Or is the devil.  I don’t know.  But I’m doing about a bajillion things right now and an oven shooting out sparks at me and going fffffftttttttt ffffffftttttttt ffffffffttttttttt at me is the last damn thing I need!

So much shit on this house has broken or given way or started peeling or fading or whatever, that I’m beginning to think that I should maybe just take the hint and move before I start hearing “GET OUT!” and seeing a jillion flies on the windows.  Although it may be too late if you count ants.

*sigh*

The oven is a funny story actually.  When I was growing up, my parents had this oven that I was afraid of.  For good reason though, I wasn’t just an insane kid (or was I?!)  It seemed that every time I used the damn thing, I’d burn myself.  So I kind of developed a hate/hate relationship with it.  Fast forward 10 years and we buy this house.  And I failed to notice it at the time, but after we got moved in and I was getting ready to cook dinner, I noticed that it’s the SAME DAMN OVEN!!!  OMG IT’S STALKING ME!  RUN!!

Since then, the clock has stopped working (it’s not 7:42 in our house all the time now), two of the knobs have fallen off never to be seen again, I’ve had to put a post-it on it that says “Turn oven off you moron!” because (and yes, this is the oven’s fault…somehow) I went through a phase where I couldn’t remember to turn the oven off (yes, I know, I’m 80), the clips that hold the bottom coil thing (whatever) in place have just disappeared (also never to be seen again…I think they ran off with the knobs, the sluts!), and now this.  Sparks and scary sounds of ffffftttttt and possibly death rays, I do not know.  But I’m not stickin’ around to find out.

Call me when my new oven’s in.  I’ll be in Hawaii.

**edited to add**

Oh My Hell, you guys!  My microwave just died!  ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’m pretty sure I’ve got some kind of superpower that I don’t know about me.  Like maybe I can fry electronics just by looking at them or something.  I don’t know, but it’s got to be something.  It can’t just be bad luck.  I’m just waiting for the stove to blow up now or something.  At this point, my eye is never going to stop twitching.

Also, if Winston doesn’t stop scratching the furniture, I think my head is the next thing that’s going to explode.