Barnmouse Blitherings

July 11, 2007, 8:50 pm
Filed under: whineyness

Well, scratch that.  I haven’t been to the gym in a week.  But that will change to-DAY!  I’m going.  Yes I am.  I’m already dressed.  My iPod is charging.  There is no backing out now.

And if I keep telling myself that, then maybe, just maybe, I’ll go.

Other than my very expensive, POS new microwave, I pretty much have nothing interesting going on.  Other than my absolute resolve to go to the gym today.  Yes!  Am going!

Right.  So.  The crappy microwave.  Since my old microwave decided to lose it’s damn mind, we had to get a new one.  What?  Live without my popcorn?  Never!

We decided to get one of the new fancy schmancy convection microwaves.  So we scouted them out at all the major places that sell them and finally decided on one.  So we bought it.  Yay!  New microwave!  Gimme popcorn!  Woo!

Once we get it home, Rat decided to get seriously pissed at me because I didn’t want to spend yet another day working on his office.  Hey, he didn’t help me with mine!  Why do I have to do his whole office with him?  Hmm?  No reason!  That’s why!  Anyway.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, the microwave.  So, I’m on the couch holding back tears because my back hurts so bad, and when I don’t want to crawl around on my hands and knees all damn day…again…Rat gets all pissy and says “Fine!  Then you hook up the microwave!”.  I said something along the lines of “You could barely pick it up off the shelf at the store!  I’ll drop it and break it!”.  And what does Mr Pissy say back? “You’ve got money.  Buy a new one.”


This is when I get THE RESOLVE.  And start yelling at him and talking shit in my head.  You want me to hook up the damn microwave?  FINE!  I’ll hook up the damn microwave.  And I’ll do it BETTER THAN YOU!!  HA!  I RULE AND YOU SUCK!  I won’t drop it, I’m strong.  I can pick it up!  I don’t need your damn help.  Of course, all of this was in my head.  Bock Bock.  Yes.  I am a chicken.

But!!  I hooked up the microwave!  I loved my new microwave!  It could grill and roast and BAKE!!!  Oh my!  I wanted to do all three!  Now!  NOW NOW NOW!!!!  But it was like…3:30.  And we had eaten lunch at around 2.  And I had nothing to make.  *sigh*

Then, a day later, I decided!  The Closer!  Yay!  POPCORN TIME!  So.  Happy little mouse skips to the kitchen and grabs a bag of popcorn, looking forward to finally making something in her brand spankin’ new microwave!  And look!  A “popcorn” button!  Aww.  I love my microwave!  I push the “popcorn” button.  I push the “start” button.  I wait. 

Gee.  This microwave is awful quiet. *scratching head* After a minute, there’s a pop.  Oh.  Okay.  I guess it really is cooking.  But really.  So quiet.  52 seconds left.  Everything cuts off.  Wha? 

Long story short, the fan doesn’t cut on!  Ever!  At all!  So, we have to take it back and hope that they’ll let us return it without a box.  Because we are idiots.  We threw the box away.  To be fair, it was a giant ass box and having it in the kitchen was a bit inconvenient.  Rat called their customer service last night and was on hold for ooooohhh….30 minutes or so!  And the lady he talked to said that she was pretty sure we could return it without the box, since it’s defective, they’re not going to be reselling it.  I could always help them out and throw it out a window or something.

But for now, I will just have to be satisfied by flipping it off every time I walk past it.  And it just sits there.  Mocking me.

Stupid microwave.

*flipping it off from the den* 


2 Comments so far
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Oh God….hilarious, but not good!!!!

Comment by Arlene

LOL….oh it’s funny NOW. Now that I have a new microwave with which to make my popcorn. hee!

Comment by barnmouse

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