Barnmouse Blitherings


A LABOR DAY MIRACLE A FEW DAYS EARLY
August 31, 2007, 4:51 pm
Filed under: whineyness

People, we have cool air.  Say it with me now….

AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh

The temperature in the house has dropped 10 degrees to a lovely 82 (considering it was 91 last night, 82 is just wonderful).  100_1908

Apparently the old 19 year old unit (hee! unit!) wasn’t working well to begin with, even when it was…well…working!  The new AC is divine!  You don’t have to put your hand over a vent to feel the air coming out.  Who knew we’d been living in squalor up until now?

Here is how we made it through the nights:100_1907

Those are my Bubba Kegs.  They are both filled to the brim with ice water.  (and yes, I said “Bubba Kegs”.)  I was a good girl and shared the blue one with Rat, even though normally he makes fun of “The Bubbas”.  I’m looking forward to actually sleeping tonight.

Unfortunately, super duper AC comes with a hefty price tag, so that means we won’t be able to take the trip to Alabama for Rat’s TaeKwonDo tournament in October.  I was all prepared to be nice to him (the things I do for love!) for awhile because now with the AC and the lawyer bills (whole ‘nother story) all our extra cash (which wasn’t exactly extra to begin with) is gone.  Rat surprised me by saying how sorry he was that we couldn’t go to Alabama (like I was going to be crushed or something) which I thought was very sweet.  I mean, we were going to go to the zoo and to the space museum and stuff.  The whole trip wasn’t going to just be TKD stuff, and I was looking forward to it, but it’s really no big deal to me.  I’ve already got a friend’s wedding in October to look forward to!  Anyway, I just thought I’d mention that Rat can be sweet at times (I just always seem to mention the “not so sweet” moments)!

Okay, let’s see what other interesting things have happened.  Oh!  Last night, when pulling into the garage after picking Rat up at TaeKwonDo, I noticed something was terribly wrong after the garage door got nearly half way up.  There was something flitting around in the garage that looked like a hummingbird or a small bat or something equally scary!  I made Rat get out of the Jeep and go “chase the thing out of the garage”.  Of course, sitting in the car, I couldn’t see what he was staring at on the floor, which just made it scarier!  He got our old sort of clear salad bowl that had cracked (multiple times….oops….not dishwasher safe I guess) and put it on top of “the thing”.  Once I was assured (many times) that it was indeed safe again in the garage, I got out of the Jeep and went to see what it was.

It was THIS

100_1901  

Oh yeah.  THAT, my friends, is a cicada.  They are disgusting.  And HUGE!  And disgusting.  It’s like a gigantic horsefly.  Which I do not like either.  I’m sure everyone has seen these and y’all are all thinking “you big sissy!”….well….okay…..yeah!  Maybe so.  But ewwww!!!!!

I think it was looking for a place to die or something because we got it outside the garage last night, but it only got about 15 feet.  I found it on the walkway to our front door this morning.  Dead.  But still disgusting.

In other news, Winston is totally amazed and perplexed by a bird.

100_1910

Not surprising.

His eyes always do that weird thing when the flash goes off that makes him look like some kind of lemur…and no, he’s not really cross eyed (but damn that looks funny, doesn’t it?).



STILL IN HELL OVER HERE, NOW WITH EXTRA WAITING
August 30, 2007, 4:07 pm
Filed under: electronics are out to get me, whineyness

3:59 and no sign of the AC Dude.

Oh, would you look at that. Now it’s 4:00.

*running to the front door and peeking out again*

*sigh*

Nope, just the neighbors.

Even as hot as it is (90 degrees…just checked) I still found the energy to clean up a little. (that would be my mother working her magic from 100 miles away)

I’m sure AC Dude is used to going to people’s messy houses considering he goes there because their AC isn’t working. And I don’t know about you, but when my AC isn’t working I don’t feel like doing a damn thing. But all those years of brainwashing kicked in and I started scrubbing random stuff.

*checking watch*

4:06.

4:08.

This is going to be a long 2 hours. I will possibly keep you updated provided I don’t spontaneously combust. (took me about 6 tries to spell that)

**UPDATE**

4:43 and AC Dude is here! Woo! Salvation Cold air will soon be upon us!

**UPDATE #2**

5:15 and AC Dude has departed leaving only bad news and taking money for it.  Grrrr.  Apparently our compressor is conspiring against us and our check book.  And the really good news?  They can’t replace the unit until next Wednesday.  Do you know how many days that is living in a 90 degree house?!  Do you?  Let us count together…one, two, three, four, five, six!  Six days.  SIX F’ING DAYS!  I am going to go insane if I don’t sweat to death first.

Earlier I made the joke that I went to the gym to cool off.  Sadly, while I was working out, I still didn’t get as hot as I do at home sitting on the couch.

Six days.  Oh my God.  That $8 doggy pool at Petsmart is looking pretty damn good right now.



HELLO FROM HELL
August 29, 2007, 11:32 pm
Filed under: electronics are out to get me, whineyness

Our AC broke.

I’m melting.

It’s 91 degrees in my house.

I’ll write more when my brain is not on fire.

*pant pant pant*

*meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeltiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

**Update** I thought about updating while I was up at 2…and then at 3….and um…then at 4….etc….but I felt like that chick from the pot commercial who was melted to her chair.

**’Nother Update**  A/C guy will be here between 3 and 6.  Are they in cahoots with the cable guy?  Seriously, dude.  between 3 and 6?  That’s the hottest part of the whole damn day.  That’s it.  I’m going to the gym to COOL OFF!  Gah!



MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT JUMPED THE TRACKS AND HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE UNASSUMING VILLAGE OF BORING.
August 17, 2007, 11:18 am
Filed under: whineyness

So, sorry.  I was actually heading somewhere interesting yesterday when I wrote about heading down to my parent’s house.  But somehow I got side tracked tellin’ ya’ll about…a….plant.  Yeah.  Like I said, sorry. 

What I meant to write about was how I’ve lived in my current city for over 8 years.  My current city happens to be almost exactly 2 hours away from my hometown, where my parents still reside.  In the 8 years that I have lived here, I have driven “home” numerous times.  Too many to count, really.  Like, eleventy frillion times.  That’s how many times I have made this trek.

So can someone please tell why it took me over THREE HOURS to drive home last friday?!  I mean, what the hell?!  I totally got lost. 

Seriously.  One minute I was sing—….uh…I mean, I was….um….listening to the…uh….encyclopedias on tape…yeah, that’s it.  And the next minute, I was all “um…where the hell am I?  This doesn’t look like the drive home.”.

Thank heavens for Larry.

I have the feeling I’ll be saying that more than once on the trip we’re about to embark on.  It’s not enough to have us go down to SC twice in 2 months, but we have to stay at a different hotel AND they’re holding the seminar at a different place.  If I didn’t have Larry, I think my head would have exploded.  And you know how messy that is.  Impossible to get out of carpet.

Oh, and I?  Still have not packed.  And we’re leaving in…oooooh….4 hours?  I have made a detailed list of everything we need to bring though.  I’m thinking of making a chart.  Or maybe a diagram.  Anything to put off packing another hour or so.

Y’all be good while I’m gone, now.  I know how y’all get! 😉



BE CAREFUL OUT THERE, THOSE PHANTOM KITTEHS ARE WAITING IN THE SHADOWS.
August 16, 2007, 10:26 pm
Filed under: general wonderment

Today, I was driving home from the grocery store and I decided to take a little bit more scenic route. Nothing really out of the way at all, just down a few more side-streets in my neighborhood and a few less main-ish roads. These are pretty streets too (hence the reason I wanted to drive down them instead of down the road that still has the crumpled up orange road barrel on the side of it. I prefer flowers to McDonald’s bags. So anyway. I was driving down this road, enjoying the shade from all the big trees and wishing that I could keep my lawn anywhere near resembling green, like these people, when out of the corner of my eye, I could SWEAR I saw a cat or a small dog running out into the road and it looked like I was about to clobber it with my back wheels. So, I did what any kitty and puppy lover would do, I slightly hit the brakes and make a little jerky action with my hands on the wheel, all the while getting this Jell-O feeling in my legs from all the adrenaline. (yeah, yeah, I know, I’m not supposed to do that, shut up, kthnx) After the split-second that all this took place in was over, I looked behind me and beside me and in my rear-view mirror looking for the poor little animal….and there was nothing there. It….it was…..it was my hand, okay? My hand. My freakin’ hand. Well, a reflection of it, at least. Since it was so shady from all the purty trees. Needless to say, I felt just a bit stupid.

We’re headed off to SC tomorrow for one of Rat’s TaeKwonDo thingies. That ought to be a fun 4 hour drive. Last time it was 90 mph nearly the whole way, except when we were stuck going about 5 for a good 20 minutes because some moron couldn’t drive and wrecked his car. By the time we got there, I opened the car door and nearly feel out. That’s a long drive going really fast. My butt fell asleep about 3 hours in. Thank goodness Chuck has cruise control. I’ve also decided to name my GPS Larry. Since my truck is already “Chuck”…get it? “Chuck and Larry”….as in “I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry”??? LOL I don’t know why but that just tickles me.

After Rat does his TKD thang (southern word) we’re packin’ Chuck back up and headin’ to Carowinds! To celebrate our 7th Anniversary! It’s actually on Sunday, so I’ll be driving home on our actual anniversary, but at least we’ll only have to drive 3 hours that day instead of 4.

Speaking of driving 3 hours….I decided to drive to my home town last friday to visit my parent’s and take them their anniversary present (their anniversary is 6 days before ours). I got them a tea olive plant. The lady at the plant place (technical term) said that when they bloom, they still look very unassuming, but they smell like apricots! She said that they usually bloom in the spring, but can have blooms all through the summer and fall too. Since they didn’t right now, they don’t smell like anything but plant, they had about 5 of them at the “plant place”, but she said they can’t keep them in stock when they bloom because people come in, smell them and immediately buy like, all they have! Some people even make entire privacy hedges with them (I said “I’m sure their neighbors appreciate that!” since they get the wonderful smells for free!). Even when not in bloom, these plants are really cute. They’re evergreen, so you don’t have what I call “a pile of sticks” in the winter. I’m thinking I might have to go back and get one….or three….for myself!

Time to go pack, I guess. Sorry this post was a little more boring than usual. I should have left all the typos in it! That would have made it a little more interesting. And then there would have been more funny than just me swerving to avoid hitting my own damn hand. That’s still embarrassing.



THAT’S HAWT
August 15, 2007, 3:57 pm
Filed under: whineyness

Christ on a cracker it’s hot outside!!!!

100_1891 

Everyone should take a hint from Winston and sleep under the dinning room table.



A CONVERSATION I JUST HAD
August 14, 2007, 6:51 pm
Filed under: it was all his fault

Rat: *stomping down the stairs, guitar in hand* You TOOK my TOWEL.

Mouse: what?

Rat: *looking like I just dinged his car* My TOWEL. You TOOK it.

Mouse: Oh. Yeah. I thought it was dirty.

Rat: *looking exasperated, like we’ve had this conversation at least 100 times before* It WASN’T.

Mouse: I’m sorry. I was doing a load of towels and I thought it was dirty.

Rat: But it WASN’T dirty.

Mouse: I understand that now, but you weren’t home and the towel was just sitting in your office and I know how sometimes you will use a towel to wipe dust off your monitor or something and then forget to put it in the dirty clothes basket. This has happened many times before. And sometimes you spill your drink. And….

Rat: But it WASN’T dirty. I put it on my knee when I play the guitar.

Mouse: Okay. I said I was sorry. It will never happen again. Your office will eventually be smothered in a sea of dusty, sticky towels. I will not touch them. Happy?

Rat: *mumble mumble mumble*

*******************************

Yeah. Our house is fuuuun.