Barnmouse Blitherings

Does Craftsman have a 24 hour emergency hospital?
November 8, 2007, 11:49 pm
Filed under: general wonderment, Public Humiliation

On my way to pick up Rat for lunch today, I got dive-bombed by a bird. It came out of no where and just smacked into my windshield. It hit the passenger side, kind of high up with a thud that scared the bejeezus out of me. I caught a glimpse of it and all I saw was brown with little black speckles.

I was devastated.

On my way home from my parents last night, I was on a highway and it was dark and I was thinking about how quickly a deer could bolt out into the road and there would really by nothing I could do. This thought was sent home by the poor little deer that was on the side of the road with her neck bent in a very unnatural position. I can’t help it. I’m sensitive. Whatever little furry mass on the side of the road, in the road, or uh…kind of all over the road, that I see, it just makes my heart hurt. I prayed that I would never hit anything, and God forbid, if I did, that it wouldn’t die.

So today when I hit the poor little bird, or actually how it hit me, I was just heartbroken. I couldn’t even enjoy my lunch with my hubby (normally one of the highlights of my week). And seriously, I was just thinking about this yesterday!!!

With a heavy heart, I went about my grocery shopping. I decided that I was going to go ahead and get all the Thanksgiving stuff that could sit in my pantry or freezer. You know…stuff in cans, stuff in boxes (Heaven forbid), and of course, the turkey. After buying it, I decided to call my mom and ask her how big of a turkey I should buy (not telling her that I had already bought one). Her answer basically added up to a return trip to the store for me. Lugging the already gigantic turkey to trade it in for a larger SUV turkey.

The trip to the store from my house takes me along the same stretch of road where the little bird met it’s end on my windshield. I still couldn’t help but think “if only I had taken a different route…maybe the little bird would still be alive. What if it has babies? Oh God, I’m a horrible, horrible person!”.

I decided to look for the little bird on the road and stop to move it out of the road if it were in traffic. Just as a sign of respect and a half-assed apology of sorts.

I knew where I hit the bird. I remembered seeing it’s limp little body hit the pavement in my rearview mirror. So I knew where to look.

It was not a bird.

It was a work glove.

Like you would find at Sears.

Apparently, the car in front of me kicked it up and it landed on my truck, then bounced off and landed back on the road from whence it came.

And here ends the story of how I one-time got dive bombed by a bird that turned out to be a work glove.

And with 13 minutes to spare.

6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

OMG you killed a GLOVE! You glove killer! What if they had little gloves at home waiting for it to come home? You heartless glove killer…

I have a grasshopper you can kill if you do have that urge to just go ahead and hurt something.

Comment by Shell

hee hee….that’s right. I’m a psychopath…I prey on discarded building supplies.


Comment by barnmouse

Hahaha! That’s hilarious!!!!
In all seriousness though I did hit a cow once in the same way you imagine hitting a deer. I was driving down a dark highway, he was running for freedom, and his face met my windshield. Luckily he survived which is more than I can say for the countless jack rabbits that have randomly jumped out of a field directly under my tire. He actually got life flighted to the vet and had to have his jaw wired together. I guess he was their prized cow or something.

Comment by Sarah

Awww! Lucky cow!!! That life flight thing is awesome. I’ve actually seen a few horses get lifted up. They’ve got to have a blindfold on or they freak out! I think if I had to be lifted into the air, I’d want a blindfold too! 😛

Comment by barnmouse

a ha ha ha ha ha. work glove. that is so funny. seriously, we’ve whacked so many birds. we had a big fat run in with the belly of a big hawk yesterday driving home and both my husband and i screamed. i was driving. shit. i’d have pulled over and cried if i’d hit a hawk. they are our protectors..

Comment by jill

OMG! hahhah! I was practically in tears thinking about that poor bird. I’m so glad it was a glove!

i actually had a squirrel hit me a few months ago, I cried and cried. But really, it ran into me, not the other way around.

Comment by rhiannon

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